Monday, January 24, 2011

My silver lining

I'm not one of those people who are keen on finding cancer's silver lining. I just have too many physical problems to stick with the "valuable life lesson" storyline.

I don't begrudge anyone else's positive attitude, but I am not usually so happy this happened to me. For me cancer is almost like a car crash, I have pain and scars that are not going away.

Except for one thing. I don't complain about getting old.

Today is my 44th birthday. It's a number that to me symbolizes middle age. No longer am in in my dainty early 40's, I am in my mid 40's. Once upon a time this might have been a milestone I dreaded, fearing it marked a new watershed.

But there are too many women who didn't make it to 44, who would be thrilled to have a birthday banged-up but NED.

Last year I was just getting into the tough part of radiation, and my birthday party had a sad tinge. This year I am away from my husband working, I won't really have much of a celebration but that's ok.

Having a birthday be no big deal is kind of a good thing.


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